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The One Testicled Pig

Submitted by Rick Romito, Adel Class of '83

A poetic journey of epic proportions to which we of all classes can relate.

Domestic Pig, I like that sound!
Domestic Pig, he is where food is found!
Domestic Pig, he is as wide as the seas!
Domestic Pig, he has the fleas!

Ah yessss... days of yore! The days when the Sow had two balls! When the Sow and Salisbury would trade sucking face with fat women at the Quincy!

Why didn't we capture some of that on video? A tragic oversight never to be corrected. Sadly, these beautiful images are relegated to the far dark corners of the subconscious.

THE BEFORE!!!
Yes, On another Friday in a distant land and time, we would all be rushing through fall classes on a mid-morn, gearing up for the party at the Quincy, wondering if our dream girl would be stepping into our stunning rat infested party house....or at least if we were going to get laid..... All the boys would be taking their positions later in the eve, Moose Krause flexing his muscles knowing he would capture any beauty queen of his desire...

Kurt, Iron Lungs, hitting a few bongs upstairs with the older boys....

Herpes viewing the latest porn movie in the dim of the 3rd floor,

H-Cox, Valach, Salisbury, FABS puking one jug after another around the signs table,

My beloved roommate dancing to the Stones Hang Fire or AC DC You Shook Me All Night Long,

Carney stealing someones date, Salisbury trying to in between signs games,

Captain perched and hidden inside the bathroom trying to get a glimpse of a few glistening pubic hairs,

the Sow hanging outside the bathroom in the hallway trying to suck face with all of the chicks after relieving themselves of ransid Griff Surowka bought beer, when in our junior year, all the frats were shut down except up the mighty psychotic Adels, or as Sophs when the Dog ran rampid, chasing men and cocks around the Quincy only to be
banned by overzealot prejudicial elders...or as Frosh, when the big brothers cut the blackcats from around our necks as we chugged mightly and toppled over from sleepless nights of hell weekend... only to be revived by Tri-Sigs...the only night they ever came to our Frat House, except for
Debbie Leas, who married an Adelphikos Brother appropriately called Strange...

we were all strange, young, wild and free...our cocks were free, we all had two testicles, aids had not yet been invented.... unrestricted by the bonds of adulthood and released of childhood parental bonds at home....we were in a 4 year twilight zone... never to be repeated, never to be seen before or since.

Oh Glory Days, oh glory days,,, when we danced to the night and the sounds of the powerful Moose Krause grinding another conquest splitting her in half with his mighty muscles!! Waking up with blood on our faces before we new
about the cycles of womenhood! Passing out on the floor of the lovely filthy Quincy! Oh Merlin! Oh Merlin! Wave your magic legs one more time!!!! For the Sow to seeeeeeee!

THE AFTER: (we can cover that in a few words.) The night before the dawn is over. Daybreak begins....

40s! Divorce! Money problems! One testicle! Cancer! Jobs! Wives! Physical Problems! Mental Problems! Unemployment! Bobbing Heads! Terrorists! Herpes is now called Anthrax! Can't even tease the boys about these
matters!
(We better go back to the previous paragraph!)

Good memories! Good dreams to the boys! Good thing our sins our forgiven!

Good day... give me the beat boys and free my soul I want to get lost in your rock-n-roll and drift away....

Hang Fire! I'm just Waiting on a Friend. I'll never be your Beast of Burden, I'll walk for miles (to the Quincy) my feet our hurtin, all I want is to make love to you!!!!!! I just made that up.

Love and kisses to all! Make love to your fat wives or to those single
brothers masturbate! It is much safer.....

Domestic PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

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